That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
