I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
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I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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