My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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