No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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