..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
