That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
