Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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