I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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