She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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