I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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