so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
