Do you still have your period?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
