..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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