At least make sure they are 18
Why
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i was born a porn star she said
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
