yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
