yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
