Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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