ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
