so that wasnt chicken after all
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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