I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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