Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
