we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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