You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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