Porn is love you can see.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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