it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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