At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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