wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
