My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Is it because I queefed?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
