**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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