My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
