i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
