perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
