Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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