My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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