wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
