Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
