ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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