and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I touched a dick in church today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
