Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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