She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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