Umm I'm too high to move.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
