You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
