We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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