I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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