; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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