Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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