Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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