I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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