So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
