Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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