i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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