Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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