Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
