Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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