Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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