I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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