oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
