office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
