I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
