I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
