I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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