mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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